“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie, How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job
Recently, we wrote about motivation and how it’s rooted in activation, persistence, and intensity. When faced with a new task or project, sometimes we feel genuine excitement and can’t wait to get going on it. Too often, however, knowing we have to do something fills us with a Sisyphean dread that demoralizes us before we begin.
Part of feeling unmotivated is feeling stuck. When we believe a situation is difficult, confusing, or overwhelming, we feel threatened, activating a negative cycle for us. We reinforce this cycle by personalizing our reactions, behaving like our reactions are who we are rather than how we feel. Identifying with our reactions can make us feel stuck since we can’t quickly or easily alter our fundamental self.
A better approach is to recognize that what we’re feeling is not actually who we are. Feelings change all the time, and we have the power to change them. So, instead of saying, “I am angry about this situation!” we make a small shift in our self-talk to, “I feel angry about this situation.” Moving from identity-based (“I am”) to response-based (“I feel”) statements becomes a subtle but powerful act for reframing how we perceive a situation. This shift can create a catalyst to help us get unstuck and start working toward our goal.
Here are some other ways to motivate yourself, both in the moment and long term.
Start small and practice. Getting motivated is like any new skill—it’s a good idea to choose something achievable, practice the steps to get there, and use that win to build toward bigger successes.
Set a goal you have to reach for—without overreaching. Unrealistic goals (I want to become a trillionaire overnight!) set us up for failure, but goals that we have to reach for (I want to become a millionaire by retirement) stimulate our competitive edge and curiosity, pushing us to stretch beyond our typical comfort level and achieve more.
Get specific. Concrete, measurable, and realistic goals help you think through the actions you must take to reach them. By breaking the larger aim into a series of tasks you will complete to get there, you develop achievement milestones that keep you motivated by detailing how far you’ve come and where you need to go next.
Know yourself. What helps you get through hard tasks? What’s worked in the past and what hasn’t? Consider your goals, your priorities, and your interests—how can you use this information to get you going? The better you know where you want to go (big picture), the more you can tap into your self-knowledge to find motivation for the tasks at hand.
Take responsibility. You will always contend with outside factors, and we can always find excuses not to do something. The real question is, how do you want to respond to challenges? With most goals, if you’re serious about achieving them, you’ll seek innovative ways to overcome obstacles. If you can’t or don’t want to, then own that reality. It’s okay to not succeed, but it’s not okay to blame someone or something else for “making” you lose your motivation.
Seek support. Surrounding yourself with motivated people and finding someone who will help you account for your progress can give you a much-needed boost. Having someone to talk with about your uncertainties and successes can also stimulate your interest, keep you going, and spark creative solutions.
Rest, renew, repeat. Understand that even the most motivated person feels uninspired sometimes, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to step back, regroup, and return when you’ve had time to think and do something else. A change is as good as rest and doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your goal. You’re allowed to take a break.
Celebrate every success. If you’re always delaying your gratification, you have no chance to savor it. Just as you own any setbacks, own your successes by taking time to acknowledge and enjoy them before moving on to your next milestone.
If you can treat your goal path like an opportunity-filled journey to master new skills, form important connections, and spark inspiration, you’ll feel less like you’re pushing the same boulder up the same mountain. Without that weight holding you back, imagine all you will accomplish!